So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
we convinced you the moon was a planet...again
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I saw a guy do a line this morning in line to start the 5k, happy thanksgiving!
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
Come through the front door when you get here.
Right now I'm so wasted I can't determine whats a door and a window.
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
I'm sorry about the fire. I was too fucked up to do science, apparently.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
