My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
double majoring has taught me only that psych majors are sluttier than govt majors
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Well would you like to come over anyway? I will be wearing sweatpants and disappointment. Also, I have Jack Daniels and I've managed to get drunk in under half an hour. But my boobs look awesome.
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
I would like to reiterate that I went to give lessons and ended up having a three way instead
Randomize
