john hughes is dead. crushing any and all dreams of me ever being in an 80's john hughes film. bummer.
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
One night stand. Woke up at her dad's house. She already left for work. Shit's about to go down.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
One of my students in my 8am class brought me a Tim Hortons cup with a bloody Mary in it. Clearly, I didn't manage to look not drunk when I ran into him at Denny's at 4am. Who decided to let me teach?
I'm going to get pregnant and die... Mean Girls warned me about this but I didn't listen
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
We ended up at a lesbian bar and all my co-workers tried to get me laid. This is not how I envisioned coming out.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
Randomize
