so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I just had a girl text me from knoxville "come see me. we'll go for drinks and I can make you breakfast"
how do you like your eggs?
over tits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how in the hell can u get pulled over when ur car is parked.
im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Theres a high probability there will be two hot men waiting on you in your bed when you get home for lunch.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
She stopped me mid sex to ask if she could finish my ramen, I've found the one.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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