im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I sang again at the bar lastnight I don't think alanis morrset knew when she wrote you outta know that the drunk version was going to be go fuck yourself Josh and Chelsea. I love $2 wells.
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
He had a small dick and screamed "I will kill you if you don't get hard" to it in German...awkward time to have to explain I speak German too...
This is why you need to stop sleeping with freshmen.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
