I found the TV remote. It was in the washing machine along with the chicken wings you kept complaining to Domino's about that they 'never delivered'
new low.... made out with someone while peeing
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
just took my birth control pill with a shamrock shake. happy st. patrick's day
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
But for future reference, it might help your game if you don't tell the girl you're trying to get on your dick that she's "not the worst thing you've ever seen"
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
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