I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
so that girl updated her facebook status as "had the worst night ever last night"
um, i could be wrong but i think it might've had something to do with mark drunkenly screaming about her unibrow right in front of her
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
Woke up in your shoes. Please tell me you woke up in mine
This is what we get for finishing a whole box of Franzia by ourselves
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
Randomize
