So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
You dont lie about slip and slides
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
Oh my fucking god how fucking embarrassing never again will I mix drugs at a family barbecue
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
Ugh im hungover from last night, and to top it all off, I think someone jacked my laptop.
umm ya, so we found it in the oven wrapped in a pillow case this morning
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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