my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I woke up covered in sausage cart mustard and champagne
... Already stepped in vomit and got a dirty look from a fat in a neck brace
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
Let me shower first- i smell like sex and rock climbing (not so sure how that happened)
just got caught singing "pop that pussy" by a very old man at work. *face palm*
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I've amended my previous statement: I'm not allowed to put in my two weeks till I ask out the waitress. Now I have motivation on two levels
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
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