Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
valentines day is a day for loved ones to share. So me and my vibrator. Happy holidays.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
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