we're blogging at a bar
my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Now I have to go back and sober fuck him. For science.
You cuddled up under the blanket because you said it smelled like Santa and vodka.
Yeah I passed out. The last thing I remember is the lady telling me I couldn't play the clarinet with my nose.
I party with great urgency now.
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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