i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I feel like somehow my uterus ended up in my ribcage from all the keg stands i did last night..
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
He's def the type to chop us into bits whilst screaming "NAPA BITCH". AKA my type
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Dude chill patience is a virtue.
WHY DOES PATIENCE HAVE TO BE A VIRTUE, WHY CAN'T HURRY THE FUCK UP BE A VIRTUE?
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
I knew the bike rally would be fun when I saw "male pole dancing" on the schedule
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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