she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
Her cooch smelled like a combination of bacon and sweat.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
In two unrelated events today I have had frostbite on my toe and cum up my nose. Who says life stops when you get married?
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
Randomize
