i was concerned by what you said you would do for a snickers. It wasn't even a Klondike bar.
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
We got Pizza Hut & Papa Johns, delivered within seconds of each other, and both delivery people did a shot. I was put on Earth for this moment.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
Bryan's allergic to that cheap detergent, so he's been naked for three days. But we're all used to it now, so the party is still on.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
