I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
We call it "Dishes: Hard Mode". Basically whoever is doing dishes gets head but needs to finish the dishes before they cum.
And so far nothing been broken!
And one night I got way too drunk and thought he said call me a polish name so I called him Konrad. Now he thinks I cheated on him with a Konrad.
That's my new pick up line call me a polish name
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
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