she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
Honestly, where the fuck is osama bin laden?
I don't care what anyone says I want strippers at my funeral.
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
yeah, I said "hi, I'm the creepy old guy at the college bar" and she said that she like mature men, wasn't expecting that line to work
I think that the jello shots in bowls is where it all went wrong.
I'm smoking a bowl and pondering why we haven't discovered teleportation again.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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