yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
Nice people suck dick too. I'm proof.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Wrong Cuomo but I had a dream last night in which I was very sexually attracted to Chris
I thought I was drunk because I kept grabbing his arm instead of his dick
But then I realized it wasn’t his arm and that I was very lucky
Randomize
