All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Think I just subconsciously wanted a cigarette and started sleep walking to Carl's.. Didn't realize what I was doing until I found myself in an elevator.
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
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