Just made gatorade. in the bathtub.
I don't appreciate the fact that you tagged me as a giant bucket Miracle Whip.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
if i got ashes i think they'd burn a hole into my head with the amount of sins i've committed this year alone and it's only february
I can't live in this building much longer. People are starting to figure out that it's me making the weird sex noises.
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I threw up in a wendys bag in her car. when i went to throw it out the window it exploded all over me. No I don't think there will be a second date.
maybe i should limp back to therapy...
oh yeah will you also bring home vodka i wanna do shots on the roof
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Panties = found
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
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