Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
I took your shirt off for you after you threw up on yourself, read you the ugly duckling, and then tucked you in. you better fucking love me, jackass.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
My next goal in this relationship is to teach my boyfriend that there are valid reasons to be fear of dolphins completely.
He literally lured me in the house with his cat then we ended up fucking on the living room couch while the cat just sat there and watched
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
Randomize
