you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
Well the light went out so I was throwing up by candle light. Strange moment in my life.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
I don't have any swimsuits that don't show off the weird handprint bruises on my hips. Do you have a onepiece I can borrow?
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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