Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Why is there uncooked bacon under my bed?
You insisted on taking it to bed with you. You grabbed it out of the fridge while mumbling "If I leave this out, you fuckers are just going to ruin it."
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
She tried to fuck me right at the bar in front of everyone. She actually got my pants unzipped before I realized what was going on.
try to milk me bitch
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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