first missing my period. then crying at the clinic... but why?
we had sex 3 months ago. you missed your period 2 weeks ago. but nice try.
i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you ever just KNOW it's gonna be a good day? I mean, like in a "just found a Vicodin in the bottom of your purse" kinda way?
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
I think I just smoked a piece of your foot. Were u picking your feet by the weed?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
I am pretty sure I just put SoCo in the bird feeder
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
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