After I talked about my ex for about twenty minutes, she just listened, sluts are so understanding
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
These 21 Drunks Said The Darndest Things
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
These 25 Irresponsible People Blew All Their Cash On Drugs, Booze, & Sex
I remember halftime. Then I woke up in Spain. I need a drink in order to process this.
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
I hate when you're right.
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants