Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
There are Star Wars cutouts in his basement. Obi Wan Kenobe watched me give him a handjob.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
25 Porn Addicts Admit Their Biggest Pet Peeves
The tornado sirens were going off and everyone just ran to the liquor store. .
I don't think anyone could emotionally handle a numb vagina.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
These 23 People Walked In On Someone And Saw Some Crazy Sh*t
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
Well, I guess my plans of staying around the apartment and drinking my weight in boxed wine are ruined. I have a date tonight.