Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (267): View more from Pennsylvania

  My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (267): My unemployment check should really just be direct-deposited into the checking account of my drug dealer http://tfl.nu/qmj6
  Replies (102) Good night (1235) Bad night (3655) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (740): View more from Ohio

  I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (740): I've been congratulating people on facebook about their forthcoming pregnancies. I can't wait to see how this plays out http://tfl.nu/uo3s
  Replies (14) Good night (5043) Bad night (566) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (+44): View more from England

  No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (+44): No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet http://tfl.nu/m8ul
  Replies (50) Good night (1004) Bad night (4350) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (864): View more from South Carolina

  I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.

  (1-864): View more from South Carolina

  You should get more absorbent shoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (864): I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe. (1-864): You should get more absorbent shoes. http://tfl.nu/rrfm
  Replies (13) Good night (3112) Bad night (604) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (248): She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds. http://tfl.nu/bean
  Replies (9) Good night (4504) Bad night (1422) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): I'm so proud of us for fucking the same friend group before we met in a completely unrelated instance. http://tfl.nu/3nuq
  Replies (3) Good night (2946) Bad night (676) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (402): View more from Nebraska

  Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (402): Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up http://tfl.nu/1eo4
  Replies (5) Good night (2952) Bad night (505) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to.

  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (412): He thought he was drowning because he was drinking water and intentionally holding his breath. Dear god what did you get me in to. (412): Oh and now he's calling me Brohammed Ali. http://tfl.nu/ulfo
  Replies (9) Good night (2123) Bad night (616)
• Favorite

  (210): View more from Texas

  The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced

  (210): View more from Texas

  The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (210): The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced (210): The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks http://tfl.nu/kwln
  Replies (6) Good night (1607) Bad night (606)
• Favorite

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (978): i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food http://tfl.nu/q8kr
  Replies (7) Good night (972) Bad night (1282) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (901): View more from Tennessee

  You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (901): You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?! http://tfl.nu/9kiq
  Replies (5) Good night (991) Bad night (235)
• Favorite

  (207): View more from Maine

  My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (207): My teacher just let our class out 30 minutes early, its a 50 minute class. He said the only thing we had to do was get fucked up tonight and have stories about it on Monday. http://tfl.nu/r4jt
  Replies (14) Good night (2293) Bad night (248)
• Favorite

  (520): View more from Arizona

  Are we in any of the areas with tornados?

  (931): View more from Tennessee

  Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (520): Are we in any of the areas with tornados? (931): Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes. http://tfl.nu/dq1c
  Replies (2) Good night (751) Bad night (174)
• Favorite

  (704): View more from North Carolina

  I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (704): I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again http://tfl.nu/6zh5
  Replies (4) Good night (774) Bad night (399) Order T-Shirt
• Favorite

  (586): View more from Michigan

  He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.

  (248): View more from Michigan

  Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (586): He probably thinks you're playing hard to get. (248): Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone. http://tfl.nu/1zpx
  Replies (1) Good night (1124) Bad night (217)

Randomize