ADVERTISEMENT

• (423): View more from Tennessee

  Apparently I masturbate in my sleep now.

  Fav 37 4434 1318

  share tweet
  

• (903): View more from Texas

  Your vagain smells worse when im sober.

  (903): View more from Texas

  sorry, worng number

  Fav 20 1053 4411

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.

  Fav 14 3888 1056

  share tweet
  

• (631): View more from New York

  You drew a lightning bolt on your eye and stomach in eye liner and made me sing Poker face with you in harmonies. I never knew you were still a music major when you were drunk.

  Fav 9 6406 1128

  share tweet
  
• 

  19 Characteristics That Make People Instantly Attractive

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (716): View more from New York

  He hid IN a snowbank for 2 hours waiting for me to come home. This game has to stop before someone dies.

  Fav 8 4479 1327

  share tweet
  

• (208): View more from Idaho

  She's walking around topless with a bottle of red wine, crying and singing showtune ballads. This is actually an improvement.

  Fav 6 2816 1295

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (270): View more from Kentucky

  I just put on eyeliner and a diff shirt in case the pizza guy is cute. This is what my dating life has come to

  Fav 8 1041 1744

  share tweet
  

• (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me

  (1-724): View more from Pennsylvania

  He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.

  Fav 5 1733 808

  share tweet
  

• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.

  Fav 10 1052 694

  share tweet
  
• 

  25 People Confess What They’re Shamefully Attracted To

  Read it at the TFLN blog
  

• (305): View more from Florida

  Stoned in some guys basement listening to ELO. it's like its 1978.

  Fav 4 957 538

  share tweet
  

• (310): View more from California

  Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.

  Fav 8 2790 987

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (212): View more from New York

  He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color

  Fav 4 497 735

  share tweet
  

• (306): View more from Saskatchewan

  because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.

  Fav 3 896 614

  share tweet
  

• (219): View more from Indiana

  Shit my boyfriend's roommate thinks thinks: I love getting woken up to the sound of my roommate getting a blowjob

  Fav 4 638 601

  share tweet
  
ADVERTISEMENT

• (720): View more from Colorado

  Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??

  Fav 0 649 449

  share tweet
  

Randomize