Texts From Last Night

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  (502): View more from Kentucky

  You were right. It hurts to walk today.

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  (502): You were right. It hurts to walk today. http://tfl.nu/ur2f
  Replies (31) Good night (5699) Bad night (672)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.

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  (412): im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems. http://tfl.nu/58jb
  Replies (17) Good night (762) Bad night (2693)
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  (724): View more from Pennsylvania

  his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless

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  (724): his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless http://tfl.nu/7ms7
  Replies (22) Good night (1028) Bad night (5396)
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  (413): View more from Massachusetts

  i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.

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  (413): i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list. http://tfl.nu/l7yl
  Replies (15) Good night (4874) Bad night (856)
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  (857): View more from Massachusetts

  Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.

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  (857): Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility. http://tfl.nu/agqx
  Replies (39) Good night (1467) Bad night (4399)
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  (415): View more from California

  dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.

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  (415): dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint. http://tfl.nu/divk
  Replies (25) Good night (9246) Bad night (1256)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?

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  (260): How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content? http://tfl.nu/u3hm
  Replies (8) Good night (2685) Bad night (1250)
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  (405): View more from Oklahoma

  No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.

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  (405): No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull. http://tfl.nu/uent
  Replies (16) Good night (4044) Bad night (1052)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...

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  (207): It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester... http://tfl.nu/gus9
  Replies (4) Good night (2710) Bad night (783)
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  (231): View more from Michigan

  using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.

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  (231): using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper. http://tfl.nu/yfpy
  Replies (8) Good night (738) Bad night (2087)
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  (708): View more from Illinois

  as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.

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  (708): as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down. http://tfl.nu/b3e5
  Replies (4) Good night (512) Bad night (2151)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick"

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  (859): in a thick russian accent she said "im not so good with english, much better with dick" http://tfl.nu/v34k
  Replies (18) Good night (4809) Bad night (1007)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!

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  (319): I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing! http://tfl.nu/3rw3
  Replies (3) Good night (1112) Bad night (459)
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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.

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  (312): Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that. http://tfl.nu/azva
  Replies (4) Good night (637) Bad night (707)
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  (323): View more from California

  All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again

  (424): View more from California

  I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill

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  (323): All I remember is folk music and a lot of drugs. I am never going "on an adventure" with you again (424): I'm going to assume that "the army of generous folk dancers" is no longer a goal you are willing to fulfill http://tfl.nu/ys2w
  Replies (1) Good night (656) Bad night (450)

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