i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
A guy with the name Pootie Tang winked st me and a guy that doesn't speak English messaged me. These are my choices?
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
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