Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
no ping pong balls so we're playing beer pong with an ornament. you can't tell me that's not festive.
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
i woke up to banging and pieces of ceiling falling on my face
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Speaking of fellatio on fictional characters, the Stay Puft Marshmallow Man would be a delicious blowjob.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
I WAS KIDDING ABOUT SLUTEMBER BUT ITS ACTUALLY HAPPENING
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
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