absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
We ran out of toilet paper the last week, so we just took showers to pee
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Please tell me that's his leg and you didn't really just send me a picture of your dog's dick
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Jesus Christ. If I were a normal sex-having person, I'd think I was knocked up. I'm cycling through emotions like I'm in a decathlon to crazy.
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
Go have sex with him right now! Drunk sex is the best sex.
I know but these gold fish are so much better
We're hate flirting, damnit.
Randomize
