That guy over there looks like a cartoon/action figure.
omg, i know.
we're too high.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Dad's drunk, trying to hook me up with a 43yo, and keeps saying one and done. Mom is on the verge of tears and disowning us. You missed a good birthday dinner.
21 Porn Stars Confess What Sex Is Really Like On Set
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
I don't know at which point last night turned terribly, terribly wrong, but it was somewhere around Motel 6, specifically the parking lot.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
19 People That Found Pubes In All The Wrong Places
You had two tasks: \n1) put on a condom \n2) text me so I don't walk in on you \nIt really isn't that hard
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
And think got sick again from going outside naked. Word to all females...don't try the naked trench coat thing.
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
I'm drinking apple juice and champagne while watching crossroads..like the classy bitch that i am.