I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
These 25 People Are Obsessed With Pizza
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
16 Sexual Experiences EVERYONE Should Have At Least Once
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
three guys with a tattoo of the Walmart rollback smiley holding up a middle finger on their ass=free drinks in every bar
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.