you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
You know the party was great when the birthday girl gets arrested
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
I have the slightest memory of swinging a bag full of condoms over my head...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
How much money would it take for the bouncer to get us beers while we wait in line to get in?
$450 apparently whoopwhoop
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Randomize
