some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So I heard you only slept with me because you were drunk...is that true?
That depends on who this is.
I got 70 on my final, or put differently, I got a "still graduating" on my final.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
Come over. We have half a bottle of jumbo champagne left and no boyfriends to slow us down
Randomize
