My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I DON'T WANT TO DEMONSTRATE MY DICK TAKING ABILITIES WITH MY MOM THERE.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
Nooo. I was entirely happy pretending that my vagina only existed for peeing and releasing Satan's waterfall.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
