i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Please come to History lecture. The kid two seats over is belligerently drunk.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I swear to god there was like a 2-second timespan in which he went from laughing to coughing, hiccuping, and subsequently projectile vomiting into the grass. There is literally a line in the grass, about 2 yards long, of his puke. It was more impressive than disgusting to be honest. And then he just shrugged and said "I have no idea where that came from."
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
This guy is like Don Jon! Im over here this weekend and at least four times I've heard porn on his phone thru the bathroom door.
I'm not in it for just the sex. If I wanted mediocre dick once a week I would have stayed with one of my exes.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
You were trying to be sexy by spraying your contact solution on your chest and telling me to lick it off
You kept licking my face. You said you were making sure I was real.
This is a crisis. I had a huge crush on him in seventh grade and now his girlfriend is due to have his child on my birthday. HIS CHILD CAN'T BE BORN ON MY BIRTHDAY.
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
