i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
I think my hand is broken. But his nose definitely is
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
I just saw my 7th grade teacher at the club. We had a pretty good talk over drinks. Turns out we both like dancing on tables.
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
I need a drink and a shade of lipstick that will put the fear of God in a man's heart.
wasn't that the evening we made out with the girls from the dental school, drank 3000 beers, almost had to beat up a guy at the strip club and James nailed some hot piece of tail and took her OSU windbreaker, which my dad went on to wear multiple times after finding it in the garage.
Yes. To all of that. Yes.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
Randomize
