If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Because I'm currently dying, lacking waffles, and vaguely convinced I'm an eagle
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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