if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he sent me this 10 second long video of a gorilla eating a banana on my phone. no explanation. I didn't even have his number. just. a gorilla eating a banana.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
There can only be one screw up per family and I was here first. Get your shit together bro
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
Randomize
