there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
He dodged my hug and greeted me with a fist bump. I slept with him the night before. The only thing worse would have been a greeting by chest bump.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
He looked at me and just said "moist". The entire party shut down from uncomfortableness. He is an anti-party wizard.
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
Don’t worry I was with my ex husband for 10 years and he could never remember the year I was born, when our dating anniversary was or what year I graduated high school. But I still know that mother fuckers SSN lol
Randomize
