i just made an omelette with the cheese and ham from a lunchables. and ketchup packets
julia child would be proud.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He just looks like he'd be good in bed. He looks like he has a lot of anger built up in him and all I'm saying is that if he took out on my vagina I'm cool with that
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