If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
I was just asked by a police officer to not come back to Lancaster...
It only takes one line of cocaine, and you try to shotput a fucking kitchen table
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
He asked if I could not say his name during sex cause he liked the girl in the apartment above me.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
