the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
If God is analyzing my life right now extremely proud or dissapointed but either way I took wednesday night drinkin to new levels
You really need to stop getting injured so often it's really starting to negatively impact my sex life. Oh and get well soon. . . no seriously though hurry the fuck up.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
Randomize
