It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
Haha he was not a poor little guy. If he'd talked to me or something I might feel bad. But since I saw him groping other girls as well as myself there's no sympathy coming from me
He's just picking out the right girl. I do the same thing with fruit. Grope them, squeeze them, smell them. I have to know I'm getting quality fruit.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I'm two shots in and wandering around Barnes and Noble with $58 in singles.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Success! We fucked roommates!
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
Randomize
