I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
we just made rock paper scissors into a drinking game
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
This is it. This is the birthday cake that gets me laid.
So if i am talking to a guy and he sends me a pic and he is wearing Spiderman button down dress shirt.... Is it ok if i dont want to talk to him anymore?
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize
