It doesn't matter if they shave you or not, you're still susceptible to the staph infection.
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
Can you check your dirty laundry bag for my tooth.
The new google images is a smorgasbord of porn now are plans for tonight are off.
It's like playing clue with my own life. I have to piece together what I did, where I was, how I did it, and who I did it to
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
came home to a trail of roses from the door halfway up the stairs. but my nonsingle roommate lives downstairs. idk if they celebrated on the stairs or if some girl tried to woo me last night and i don't remember
What kind of gift says "I'm sorry you accidentally stuck your hands in my puke (even though you should know better by now)"?
Nothing says happy valentines day like waking up to a naked man you hooked up with taking a walk of shame
It was a great idea to buy that cocaine while dressed as an elf. It snowed all night for me.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Drunk you wants to be petty, not you you.
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
Randomize
