i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
he wanted me to dress up like someone from lord of the rings. I dumped him.
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
I need a hoe opinion
go on
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize
