Whoa Z and x make the same sound
Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
Don't blame the cocaine for your eating disorder.
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
I had to ask. I mean when you get a snap chat of a nipple you have to ask who's it is.
I only remember singing the Captain Planet theme song on our way to the bars.
We got a standing ovation as security was escorting us out of the ballpark, it was a proud moment
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
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