Is it normal to miss your booty call?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
The next time you try to involve a tickle me Elmo in my orgasm, I'm leaving you
Sometimes you get drunk and fall out of a car. I never said it was glamorous.
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Randomize
