Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Crazy how fast a room full of drunk teenagers sober up when someone breaks his parents' new flat screen
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm looking forward to the release of my future best seller - "Three Words to Make Your Relationship 100% Better: Surprise Blow Jobs"
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
Randomize