it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
I think im going to throw up on grandma
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
i just burped and it tasted like condom. please tell me i wasn't lame and made that guy wear one for a bj last night.
Why is it only times like these when I'm scrubbing the cum stains off my futon before my family gets here that I seriously begin to question my life choices?
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
Took the ex out to the bar, then left with her and her best friend....and you said this was a bad thing.
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