There is a man walking 2 goats through the city.
Bonus: only one of them was on a leash.
Well then I realized I had a bigger problem when I woke up a long board.
Ya know, sometimes when he kisses me in public I want to scream "HE DRIVES A PORSCHE!" so people watching understand that I don't have low standards, I'm just very materialistic.
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
i woke up hungover wearing my gym shorts and the condom from last night. Wine bar thursdays rule.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Woman at starbucks on her computer with a garbage bag of popcorn and a bottle of lotion. Where are you coming from?!
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
but there's so much I wanna do before I have kids. like die
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
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