I miss you like a fat girl misses the prom.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He started to notice that i sleep with every girl he calls dibs on.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
So if I tell her fire is hot and it will burn her... she's probably just going to keep throwing her vagina at it huh?
I'm all for hockey players but dude, he asked me to lick his chipped tooth mid-hook up.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
I just sharted for the first time in my life. Age 33. Lying in bed. Sober. 2021 is off to a great start!
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