i wish starbucks made bloody marys
I think my favourite thing about cubicles is the fact that I can pick my nose at work
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
gin. gin. Gin. GIN GIN GINGINFFdJH
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I would really like it if you guys got out of my bush
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
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