was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
At least I got to make out with you a little before you proposed.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
