i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm sorry about your car but on a brighter note I did wake up in my dorm. That's something right?
Fuck you.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I will pay you in sex, beer and popcorn if you will come fold my clothes for me.
Add free use of your panini press and its a deal.
Deal.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
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