Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Best part: she drunkenly told me I'm dangerous then slurred to my parents that I should watch out in case I fall in love with her. Then she mounted a pinata
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You can't just leave with hair like that
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
I thought it turned out lovely. You got to see me almost naked and I got to be stoned to the point I was content with
Wtf when were you almost naked??
Randomize
