since when did accompanying a guy to a wedding mean that anal was required that night?
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Mike is worried about me going on a cruise in June without him....how cute he thinks we are going to last till June
Usually I just ask myself "have I been naked here?" If the answer is no I correct the situation.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
When creating your wedding guest list do you put the girl you & your fiance had a threesome with under your friends or his friends?
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
Randomize
