The next morning she woke up and asked who I was and where she was.
Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
normal stoners make pot brownies. gay stoners make pot chocolate covered cherries on a cinnamon graham cracker crust which by the way are very effective.
Im starting to realize why people dont masturbate while driving
After watching Cinemax for a few months, real porn just grosses me out.
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
She said her hobbies include bangin guys on one night stands and then sending them facebook relationship requests the next morning just to freak em out
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
I threw a lamp at you?
Yes, yes you did.
Awesome
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