You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
yeah we were the ones eating jello shots out of the back of a jeep in the bar parking lot
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
When you wake up, just ignore the mess in the bathroom. I'll take her home when I'm off work.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I think I ingested my vampire fangs last night.
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I was like sure, i'll have a drink or two to end the night early. Next thing i know theres a ton of dudes in my house and like 3 gallons of wine. I cant do anything in moderation.
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
