If I sit on the seam of my jeans just the right way when the bass hits, this might be my new favorite band.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
you told grandpa to call you daddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know, be my cock's hype man.
She has no definite jawline and all of her photo's have Ke$ha quotes as captions followed by a "<3" Even by your standards that is embarrassing.
there are 5 pictures on my phone from last night, 4 are too blurry to recognize and the 5th is you dangling a twizzler over your mouth, naked.
He says I tipped the waitress ten dollars because she "smelled like pigs in a blanket."
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
Making a mobile stripper pole for the back of my truck memorial weekend. Is where dignity goes to die
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
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